Questions I'm most often asked about life coaching to emotionally heal from divorce, and The Dynamic Divorcée Method: 7 Steps to Divorce Healing™
What results can I expect, and how soon will I start to feel better?
Every client I have worked with has experienced positive changes from the very first contact with me. The very first improvement is a sense of hope and that you don't have to keep trying to do this alone. You'll feel that you have a step-by-step plan that you're embarking on.
Here are some of the most common results that my clients get from the program:
- Respect from and better boundaries with the ex.
- Re-emergence of hopes and dreams that had lain buried for a long time, and now have become a large and joyous part of their lives.
- Putting to rest feelings of blaming themselves, wanting to get the ex back, obsessing about the ex and his new life, and other exhausting and ever-cycling negative thoughts.
- New, sustaining friendships, and reconnecting with friends of the past.
- Asking for, and receiving, raises and bonuses on the job. Feeling more powerful and in control in the workplace.
- Applying for, and receiving, promotions, or finding new and better career opportunities.
- Making a move away from the ex to an exciting and fun new city or town.
- Having the home of their dreams.
- Children who treat them with love and consideration, or are on the way to doing so.
- Learning to use dating as a positive in their own lives rather than going back into the kinds of relationships that don't serve them and bring them joy.
Who do you work with?
I work with women who are in one of the following situations:
- Recently blindsided by a husband's infidelity or declaration that he wants a divorce
- Separated, and wondering whether to file for divorce
- Separated, and in the divorce process
- Recently divorced
- Divorced for a year or more, but not able to fully recover from the grief, anger, and depression caused by the marriage and divorce
- Experiencing the breakup of a long-term, serious relationship
I work with women only, and only on emotional healing from divorce. I'm not the appropriate coach for you if you need legal or financial advice.
What kind of woman will get the most out of working with you?
- You have cried and struggled with this all you can, and you're at the stage where you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are extremely motivated to do something to change the way you feel. You're feeling angry about not being able to take back your life and happiness.
- The methods you've tried in order to emotionally heal from the breakup of your relationship haven't helped, and you feel you need step-by-step assistance with this major challenge.
- You are at the point where you want to feel better so much that you're willing to do whatever it takes in order to get there. You know that you'll follow through, regularly show up to online coaching appointments, and do the activities that we create for you each week.
- If you have a history of anxiety or depression, you're already receiving medical/therapeutic care for those parts of you.
Who don't you work with?
I don't work with women who:
- Need legal or financial advice as they work through those aspects of divorce.
- Expect magic: Healing with minimal effort on their part. (There is magic to my process, but the client must have a ready-to-follow-through attitude.)
- Believe they are victims. That, whatever happens, it's someone else's fault. (Even if a person has had many rough breaks in life, it's important to acknowledge and learn about things she can change so that she won't continue to invite the "victim" role to continue to play in her life.)
- Struggle with untreated emotional and psychological conditions. (I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychotherapist. I can create astonishing and quick positive change with a client, but only when she is already receiving care for chronic conditions that by far pre-date her breakup or divorce.)
- Have great difficulty being on time, who allow every other activity to take precedence over coaching appointments, and have lived a lifetime of "the dog ate my homework."
- Are coming out of LBTQ relationships. (This is simply because these relationships are not my area of expertise, and I respect the differences. I coach from deep experience in the male-female relationship dynamics that pervade our culture, and the impact this has on the lives of women.)
How are you different from a therapist, a support group, or a church-sponsored divorce group?
I've lived through divorce myself (many therapists have not) and lived through a pretty horrific series of circumstances following my divorce. I found that many other women were experiencing the same thing: The breakup was only the first of a series of unexpected traumatic life events with one following after another.
Because of this, I created my own system. Nothing available was similar -- especially for women who didn't feel comfortable with a program that was based in religious belief.
Traditional therapy was open-ended without any promised outcome or benchmarks. It was just a diagnosis, and once a health-insurance benefit ran out, it was a pretty expensive habit that often kept women talking about (and therefore, keeping in their consciousness) the very thoughts and experiences that that they yearned to heal from.
This was totally unacceptable to me, so my proprietary healing method was developed specifically to address everything that was missing in other divorce recovery paths. You can read more about how I developed my program here.
Will your 7 Steps to Divorce Healing work for me?
If you fit the client profile above, under "What kind of woman will get the most out of working with you?" the answer is likely to be a resounding "Yes!"
The Dynamic Divorcee is unique in offering a:
- Step-by-step structured program that lets you measure the positive changes that are happening from week to week.
- Results-oriented, not process-oriented, coaching approach. Our entire system is based on measurable results that you choose, such as improvements in coping with your emotions, sleeping through the night, being able to perform at work, finding enthusiasm for your new life, having energy available for your children, and much more.
- Quick difference in how you feel. Improvements build steadily over the 4 months, but you'll feel that it's working from the first appointment or two, as we work my 7 Steps, one by one, tailored to you as an individual.
- Free get-acquainted call to make sure that The Dynamic Divorcee is the right program for you before you become a client. (I'm selective about the women who become coaching clients because I need to feel very sure that what I offer is the best option available to you.)
- Limited, 4-month timeframe, and that's intentional. It's a one-time investment in the rest of your life. (It breaks my heart when divorced women tell me they're now in their fifth or sixth year of talk therapy, and I ask them what has changed in their lives. Most times, they can't really answer. That's a big annual expense just to have a shoulder to cry on. I don't want you to be struggling with these same issues even one year from now.)
Is it expensive?
As I mentioned earlier, this is a one-time investment in the rest of your life. This is not open-ended therapy or coaching that goes on forever.
My coaching isn't broken up into weekly or monthly installments. There is only one investment to make, paid one time only, and it gives you the full value of the 4-month program, without the option to bail on it halfway through.
Women are so prone to putting themselves last. The first thing that they tend to drop from the budget is their own self-care. So, if they have the option to drop out midway through my program, they won't get the full benefits they hoped to receive -- and that hurts both of us, because my promise is that this will be a life-changing experience.
So, I do my best to ensure that each woman gets the change she is seeking by offering a full 4-month program, prepaid in advance.
It's not expensive at all, when you consider the alternatives:
- Continuing to feel this way for years
- The investment of much more time in finding other ways to get help in which you're getting only peer support, or tending to rehash the past instead of starting on your new future right now
- Choosing hit-or-miss other ways of feeling better that end up being much more expensive over a period of even a year or two
- Quite often, a year or two later, I hear back from women who decided they didn't want to invest in coaching, and they're still in the same place as before, but they've lost so much time continuing to feel sad, alone, and low-energy. They haven't been able to summon up the strength and desire to move forward.
Do you have different coaching options to choose from?
I have three different 4-month coaching programs available. All three of them offer one 30-minute coaching call per week, an online document (accessible to both of us) with a record of what we talked about, and the document also contains a running record of our insights, your action steps, and your activities for the coming week.
You receive much more than just 30 minutes from me each week, since, before and after each appointment, I keep track of your activities and progress in our online document, review the results of each week's completed activities as you add to our online document yourself, and prepare the content for each week's call specifically with you in mind. This is a much higher level of caring, targeted assistance than the off-the-cuff weekly chat that many other coaches and therapists provide.
My three different coaching packages each have different bonuses attached at different price points. We can talk about this if you decide to schedule a free get-acquainted call with me.
I'm ready to talk about this. What's my next step?
The next step is to schedule a free get-acquainted call.
This is a 30-minute call via Skype or Facebook Messenger where you'll be able to get clear on the changes you'd like to make and what the key areas of pain are for you right now. (This, in itself, is such a valuable benefit to scheduling a free call with me.)
On the call, we'll talk about your situation and whether I might be the right person to help. You can also ask questions about my various programs, and I can describe everything you receive with each different coaching package.
I want to stress (because I know that women are concerned about this) that, at no point are you pressured to enter any sort of paid coaching relationship with me. In fact, only about 50% of the women I chat with are people I believe will benefit from coaching with my method -- so I only talk about my coaching packages with those specific women who I truly feel will receive much more value than the price of the coaching package.
Sound good? If you have a question or two, or would like to schedule a free call, please contact me here.