You might be working way too hard. What a thought!
For a lifetime, most of my clients (I really want to say all of my clients) have been over-working, over-giving, and over-functioning for others.
They get into a habit, that often started in childhood, of trying to earn everything -- the hard way. Trying to earn love -- rather than have it freely given to them -- is often at the top of the list.
It's expected of women to always give far more than we receive. But hard work is a value in our culture in general, for both men and women.
You know. Ideas like:
"There's no free lunch."
"The best lessons are learned the hard way."
"Success is 99% perspiration."
I’ve written elsewhere on The Dynamic Divorcee about how to be loved and learn how to receive, but have you ever thought about how your beliefs about having to work hard might be making it harder to move on after divorce?
This week's “just try it”
Take any single goal you may have at this moment, and look for the easiest possible way to get there. What are the simplest, baby steps you could take to get closer? Is there an easy way to solve the whole problem, but you couldn't see it because you expect the road to be long and hard?
Ask yourself: "If this were easy, how would I do it?"
And, also ask yourself, "Is there someone close to me who might give me advice on how I'm making this unnecessarily hard?" (Tip: Ask someone whose life is in balance, and has plenty of time to enjoy the good things in life. Don't know anyone like this? Then it's time to make new friends. Or maybe take a radical approach to making new friends.
Or, join a Meetup group in your area -- but, make sure it's positive and fun, not a divorce recovery group where everyone complains about how awful life is in general and their exes in particular.)
Explore how you can find ways to "take the easy way out." How can you make it easy so you can get it done, and feel you’ve moved forward. Yay!
Need help on this? I'm always here.
And, please comment on your experiences with this little exercise : ) .