Learning to trust yourself again when you keep breaking promises to you

This is for you if a) you’ve started more than one year feeling disappointed about breaking promises to the most important person in your life: you.

This is for you if b) you’re not even sure if you trust yourself anymore.

This is for you if c) you’re not sure you can trust a man again.

What do all of the above have in common?

When you can count on you to come through for you —> you believe in yourself again —> you don’t have to worry so much about whether a guy is trustworthy —> it doesn’t really matter because you’ll never be so into him that he can destroy you. Because you have your own back.

What’s fun about this: It means that you can have a lot more control over outcomes in your life than you think.

Learning to trust you

I’m writing this in January, the time of year when we often think: Why bother setting goals? The time of year when you may be saying, “I flake out every single year. Why try again just to feel bad about myself?”

This year, I’ve noticed that it’s fashionable to say, “Whatever. The old, sloppy me has survived so far. Why reach for anything?”

Which is perfectly valid, if you’re satisfied and don’t have a secret yearning that thiings were different.

We would never do to others what we do every day to ourselves.

Think about it: I bet you keep your promises to every other person, entity, and organization in your life. You are on time (or close enough), you do the things you don’t feel like doing (and do them on a daily basis). Everyone and everything is important. Except you.

Because after being there for everyone and everything else, you’re just too tired to take the actions that would make you sooooo happy about being yourself. So, year after year, you become more and more dissatisfied with who you are, what your daily life looks like, and what your future looks like.

Year after year after year. And you’ve been in last place since long before your divorce.

But, it’s hard, you say.

But, you do it for everyone else, I say.

Some new questions to think about:

  • How can you make it fun to follow through for yourself?

  • How can you set it up so you can build the ability to trust yourself (knowing that you won’t let yourself down)?

  • How can you make yourself important enough to yourself that your dreams become a priority?

What if you felt, every day, like the shining star you were born to be?

What if this were your new year’s resolution: To feel like the shining star you were born to be. To set out on your own personal yellow brick road. To find your way home; to feel happily at home being you.

Cliché, but true: Wouldn’t that make it easier (and more fun) to be who you need to be for everyone else?

Wouldn’t that make you glow on your job (or have the confidence to go for what you really want)? Wouldn’t that make you more likely to attract the kind of person you really want to be with?

It’s all interconnected. Which also means it’s all deceptively simple.

Just a little food for thought, whether you’re reading this in January or some other time down the line.

Have you tried to make changes alone, year after year? Think you might want a little motivational catnip from The Dynamic Divorcee? Have it all go differently (the way you want it to) this time. Catch me here.