Quick Thanksgiving weekend "hello"

The 2017 edition of my holiday ebook is getting spruced up right now.

The 2017 edition of my holiday ebook is getting spruced up right now.

It has been a couple of months since I've been able to schedule the time to crank out free and informative (but very time-consuming to create) blog content, but I did want to let everyone know that, as always, I'm working hard behind the scenes!

Over Thanksgiving weekend, in addition to doing some Thanksgiving cooking and enjoying a wonderful dinner with friends, I started to think about why it has seemed such a thankless chore to research and write blog posts and to keep up the endless postings to our Dynamic Divorcee facebook page year after year after year.

Just having those kinds of feelings (on Thanksgiving, no less) was a wakeup call for me.  I LOVE my business, so why was I being such a grumpasaurus?

I realized it was time for a Dynamic Divorcee reboot, and time to have our website, our facebook page, and our freebies truly reflect who I am, what I care about, and who I care about working with (and that means all of you, my dear coaching clients, past, present, and future).  Time to stop worrying about all the topics I think you want me to write about (or that I feel I HAVE to write about), and just to write and share things that matter most to me (and have mattered most to my actual coaching clients, not the entire world of divorced women at large).

I am a person with ATTITUDE, and our branding has never reflected this, perhaps because I was a little concerned about whether my dear readers could handle it.  Turns out, we all want to be liked -- even coaches : )

I need to be bold and do exactly what I coach my awesome and fabulous dynamic divorcees to do.  So, here it comes.

If you visit our website, you'll see the beginnings of this change in attitude.  I am feeling so energized and excited about freshening things up.

I've also started working on an upgrade for my holiday perennial ebook, 5 Surprising Cures for the Divorcee Holiday Blues (that's a mouthful!) -- a complete update of the design, and maybe a little tweaking of the content, too, because I always have a few new ideas to share.

If you're on my elist, you'll be receiving the ebook (and maybe a few extras) soon.  If you're not on my list, but would like to receive it, click here to allow me to be in contact with you.

Hope everyone made it through Thanksgiving in one piece, and for the rest of the holiday season, I've got you covered!

So what are you doing New Year's Eve?

Here's my take on New Year's Eve:  Don't put so much pressure on the actual date you celebrate.  You can have so much more fun if you ignore Dec. 31 itself.

I'm celebrating it on Dec. 27 and Dec. 28!

I really don't want to be in the middle of all the craziness on Dec. 31, and I'm not so enamored of any of the current men in my life (none of them is "the one") to undergo all the pressure that comes with being someone's date for New Year's Eve.  (More on my dating philosophy in my Prepare to Be Loved program.

So, I have two super-fun events coming up for the weekend after Christmas.  On Saturday, Dec. 27, I'm meeting some of my best women friends in the world (and they're also my ready-to-party aunt, cousin, and two ex-wives of my brothers -- the mothers of my nieces and nephews).  We'll be going out for margaritas and Mexican food, and out for line dancing after that.  And, probably sleeping it off at my aunt's house.  I love these women, and can't wait!

On Sunday, Dec. 28, it's the December meeting of the women's wine-tasting group I'm a part of, and we'll be meeting at the beautiful home of one of the members, with the theme of Winter Wines . . . (and celebrating my birthday, which was Dec. 24).

I find that it's so much easier to schedule wonderful time with women friends (both married, divorced, and single) when you do it between Christmas and New Year's -- so that's what I do!

These two events will be the highlight of my holiday season.  I find Christmas with the family just a little depressing and stressful, since there's hardly anything on which we see eye to eye.  Yet, they're family, and I do it.

So what should you do on the dread New Year's Eve itself?  If your kids are with you, order pizza, watch some movies and make noise at midnight.

If you're on your own?  Indulge yourself in any way that feels good to you -- especially by doing things that your ex didn't like or didn't approve of.

Of course, you can use this time to take a look at your year in review and decide how to make the new year different. 

But, for many of you, it's a much happier idea just to let it all go, and get to bed before midnight.  By the time you awaken, a beautiful new year will be here!

Before you turn in, you can make a little ritual of kissing the old year goodbye, or maybe exorcizing it from your life with a few rounds of lion's breath -- open your mouth wide, extend your tongue, and forcefully exhale everything that brought you to your knees in the past year.

You can take a cleansing bath or shower during which you symbolically wash away every disappointment, regret, and fear, and call in everything you want to be part of your life in 2015.  Use a wonderful scent that makes you feel protected, calm, and strong.  Whatever scent you like is a good one for you!

2015.  It's your year to make of it whatever you will.  Make a resolve that no one else will hijack your beautiful life for their own purposes.  I want to propose a new definition of selfishness.  It means that you are full of yourself, full of the person who you were always meant to be.  An example of beauty, strength, and happiness, who draws like-minded people to you.

I'm wishing you the very happiest new year ever!

New Year's Eve with the not-quite-right guy

Here I am on New Year's Eve 2012, on -- what? -- a date.

Although I've meant to write about my experiences with online dating, every time I started a post that veered in that direction, I got so bored that I gave it up by sentence number two.

So, when my long-distance-relationship Mister Wrong of the past five years emerged yet again to darken my door -- and kept coming back during the holidays as a good-faith gesture, I figured that a night out rather than a night at home alone seemed more fun for New Year's Eve.

And it was.

I've found that when it comes to my Mister Wrong, he makes a perfectly fine-for-now companion as long as I keep my boundaries clear, don't let him get physical with me, and keep my head on straight.

I'm fine as long as I don't believe any of his hinted-at-promises (which, at this point, he almost believes himself).  I keep reminding myself something that I've only learned since my divorce:  Yes, some men can retain their trademark teflon properties all the way up to death's door (and perhaps beyond).  Nothing you can possibly do will make more than a passing impression.

No, ladies, don't take the bait that if you only changed about three dozen additional things about yourself that -- aha! -- then, he'll be willing to come through for you.

More from me later on this, no doubt : ) .  But, in the meanwhile, don't take anyone too seriously unless he shows you he's serious.  The right one will have no trouble letting you know.  In the meantime, let's learn from our merry middle-aged bachelor friends -- and have fun.