Divorce Emotions: How to manage them using a happiness treasure chest

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In my last blog post, I made a little 4-minute video with a powerful (and fun) way of coping with divorce grief (those persistent, tormenting thoughts that cycle through our minds and just won't let go).  Give it a watch, and it will tell you all about how to use what I call "tiny infusions of joy" to disrupt waves of pain and grief, and why and how to create your own happiness treasure chest.

You can even get a free two-page printable with prompts to help you figure out what little things bring you joy at a moment's notice, when you really need relief.

Tested on myself, divorcee volunteers, and . . . ultimately, my beloved clients!

Of course, there is nothing that I recommend to my clients that I haven't already created and tested on myself (and on other willing divorcee volunteers).

So, while you're figuring out your own "tiny infusions of joy" and what you might like to have in your own happiness treasure chest while dealing with divorce grief, I thought you might like to know what's in my emergency emotional first-aid stash. 

Check out the photo below, and read on to learn more about why I chose these particular things.  (And, in case you want to try out my picks, there are links so you can get them, too.)

My sadness-interrupting happiness treasure chest for those tough days.  Clockwise from top: Rescue Remedy lozenges, Kusmi teabags in Prince Vladimir and Anastasia, an old ipod (pink!) that holds only my happy songs and happy videos, homemade affirmation cards which I've laminated, Frankincense & Myrrh rollerball essential oil, my favorite drugstore lipstick, and the rosewood box in which I keep all of these items.

My sadness-interrupting happiness treasure chest for those tough days.  Clockwise from top: Rescue Remedy lozenges, Kusmi teabags in Prince Vladimir and Anastasia, an old ipod (pink!) that holds only my happy songs and happy videos, homemade affirmation cards which I've laminated, Frankincense & Myrrh rollerball essential oil, my favorite drugstore lipstick, and the rosewood box in which I keep all of these items.

I keep my tiny infusions of joy in a little rosewood box because I love how it looks, I find the texture of the wood carving very soothing, and it's easy to carry with me.  Here's one that's very much like mine, but slightly larger (since I could use a little more room in my own treasure box).

The "why" behind what's in my emotional first-aid kit

Let me tell you a little bit more about why I have this particular collection of things, and why they help me break through a cycle of negativity, grief, sadness, or feelings of powerlessness.

Rescue Remedy Pastilles come in several flavors.  I like the black current.  These are Bach homeopathic-style remedies, and the flower essences in these lozenges are supposed to calm anxiety, panic, and fear.  Do they really work?  Who knows?  But they have worked for me for years.

Kusmi Anastasia teabags (Earl Grey, citron, and orange flower) and Kusmi Prince Vladimir teabags (blend of China teas with bergamot, lemon, grapefruit, vanilla, and spices).  These teas smell and taste so luxurious that they instantly make me feel special and cared for.  Love love love.

Kuumba Frankincense and Myrrh rollerball essential oil.  I realize that not everyone is a fan of these hippie/yoga kinds of scents, but I find this one deep, relaxing, and comforting.  I believe that everyone has a favorite calming scent, and can find an essential oil or two with a scent that deeply relaxes you.  And, it's so much fun to go to your local Whole Foods and sniff out the scent that transforms your world.

My absolute favorite lipstick: Milani Red Label.  This is just the right red for me: It's not orangey, but it's not too pink either.  It's the true red I'm always looking for.  And, for me, red lipstick always gives me Super Woman superpowers.  It's that, "Okay, I feel like ****, but I can do it!"  Check in with yourself to see if there's something similar that does the same thing for you.

Some things I keep on the iPod (and I've created a sample playlist for you here):

  • I record my own affirmations/visualizations for morning, evening, and those times when I'm just having a terrible day.  It's easy:  Just record into the voice recorder on your phone, and if you happen to use your phone for your happiness playlist, you can just add your own recorded animations to your playlist.  (I like to dedicate my old iPod for this purpose because it makes it special for me:  When I feel down, it's my special little friend.)
  • Binaural beat audios: These are sound tones that are thought to effect positive changes in mental states.  I do find them relaxing to have playing in the background, or you can fall asleep with them playing at bedtime.  To get the full effect, one is supposed to listen with headphones, but I have to confess that I rarely do this myself.
  • Uplifting songs:  Mine are more kicka** than sweet and uplifting.  I'm more of a girl-power person.  Okay, and while I was healing from divorce, there were a healthy number of revenge songs in there, too : ) .
  • Sunrise video:  For me, this is my #1 go-to, if I have just a minute or two to press pause on a painful mental/emotional state.  Seeing a sunrise (even on a video) brings me so much joy, and makes me feel that I'm being protected and watched over.  Check out my sample playlist below, and click the menu icon at the upper left to see a dropdown of everything that's on the playlist:

Hey, I realize that no one seems to comment on blog posts anymore, but I would be THRILLED if you would comment below and share with me what you have in your happiness treasure chest (or, what you're going to have in there, once you put it all together).

Hugs!