Top 6 Divorce Movie Picks from The Dynamic Divorcee

I've never done a divorce movie list, and I'm kind of not thrilled about other lists I've seen . . . so it's about time to share a few girl power movies about starting over and/or waking up from a life that's become a bad dream.

Let's start with a few starting-over films that were written and directed by women:

Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)  There's no divorce in this movie, but there is a young woman who boxed herself into a suburban lifestyle too soon, pursues a random fascination with a different lifestyle, and changes everything in the process.  The divorce will come after the credits roll.  I also love this movie because it's about what I consider regular people:  suburban middle-class and scruffy bohemians.  Rosanna Arquette, Madonna, and Aidan Quinn.  Watch now on Amazon.

Something's Gotta Give (2003) I can't imagine that there's any over-40 woman who hasn't seen this film, but it's one of my favorites, and grows on me the older I get.  If you're a single woman of a certain age, you'll recognize the Jack Nicholson character as someone you've encountered on innumerable dates, and from innumerable online dating profiles (you know, the ones where old, paunchy guys photograph themselves on speedboats and next to sports cars).  Perfect solo weekend viewing -- reminding yourself why enjoying a weekend pursuing your interests at home can be way more rewarding than a coffee date (or, worse, dinner) with that silver, not-so-foxy old fox.  Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.  Watch now on Amazon.

Enough Said (2013)  Years ago, when I was offering weekend-at-home movie picks on this blog, I wrote a whole blog post about this film.  A massage therapist, divorced mom begins dating a regular guy, a self-described "slob" who is actually a person at her own level, and, with this, she immediately begins to find fault.  Should she settle for him?  Should she deserve better?  Intruigued?  Watch and find out what happens.  James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.   Watch now on Amazon.

Now, for a few girl power films written and directed by men (but feel like they were channeled by a female muse):

An Unmarried Woman (1978)  If you only watch one of my six picks, make it this one.  I know . . . 1978 . . . how relevant could it possibly be?  Except for the excellent 1970s fashions and silly disco music, this could have been made today.  I love this woman.  She figures out what she wants, on a day-to-day basis, and doesn't get sucked into anyone else's world.  An inspiring filmic role model for navigating the divorce year.  Bonuses:  Vintage New York, the sexy Alan Bates as love-interest, and if you're a fan of Gilmore Girls, check out Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore) as one of the lead's gal pals.  Jill Clayburgh and Alan Bates.   Unfortunately, not available to stream on Amazon, but at time of this writing, it's streaming on Netflix.

Educating Rita (1983) As I've sought out movies about divorce over the past ten years, it's surprising that most of them feature upper-middle-class people, living lifestyles that most of us don't even dare to dream of.  Here's one about a working-class girl who feels the walls closing in and wants a bigger life.  And, I also love that there's no Prince Charming or relationship-centered happy ending.  Julie Walters and Michael Caine.  Watch now on Amazon.

Begin Again (2013) The most nuanced separation/betrayal/breakup film among these picks.  The story is structured around some of the most beautiful songs about loneliness and despair ever.  A girl who gives away too much to the wrong person, but knows what's she's doing and stays true to herself.  Deep, a little tangled, and full of quirky hope.  Bonus:  Keira Knightley sings.  Keira Knightley, Mark Ruffalo, and the adorable James Corden.  Watch now on Amazon.

A few bonus picks . . .

It's inevitable that I have to include Eat, Pray, Love (2010).  Either you love it, or you hate it.  I loved it, because this was just the sort of who-am-I life search that I was on after my divorce (minus the breathtaking world travel).  If you haven't seen it, you have to give it a try.  Watch now on Amazon.

Silly, and about rich chicks, but they do get even and chew up the scenery:  The First Wives Club (1996).  And, I love anything with Diane Keaton.  Can't help myself.  Watch now on Amazon.

One where they both still love each other, they try to move on, pandemonium ensues, and there's an open ending . . .  . Absolutely lovable cast, and a rosy glow. Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)Watch now on Amazon.

And, this pick has absolutely nothing to do with divorce, but it will make you feel like you can do anything and no one can stand in your way: Wonder Woman (2017).  If you haven't seen it this year, you can stream it for just $2.99 and be able to watch it more than once. Watch now on Amazon.

What's your favorite attitude-shifting divorce/breakup film?

Do you have a favorite divorce- or breakup-related film that doesn't involve rich, white Californians or similarly privileged New Yorkers?  Films with a more diverse cast of characters, while staying free from ethnic stereotypes?  I would love to hear about and share your recommendations.  Please tell me about it in the comments!

Enough Said: Is he "good enough"?

As I wrote my July 11 post, "Are Men Really More Attractive as They Age?", in the back of my mind I was thinking about the 2013 film Enough Said, with James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

So, I'm making it my chick-flick recommendation for this weekend's viewing.

Here's why.  I have one big caveat regarding that July 11 blog post:  Like attracts like, and we're cruising for a crash (and a badly bruised ego) when we expect to attract men who are head and tails above the level we're at in our own lives. 

My previous post was about how men's feelings of entitlement are colored by a lifetime of women's petting, coddling, and abetting their shortcomings and bad behavior.  Not to mention daily media photo spreads of the much-younger conquests of middle-aged rich and famous men. 

But can women's expectations be a little off the mark, too?  For sure.

I decided to write about Enough Said because of a couple of recent coaching calls with Dynamic Divorcee clients.

One particular lady in her late 40s, without a decent job, floating while looking for a lifesaver, expressed her goal to find a professional man to support her and her three children so she could stay home and pursue her clothing design hobby.

There's nothing wrong with hoping that a man can help better a woman's financial situation.  Men and women often bring different gifts to the table in a relationship.  So I asked this client to take a look at what she is bringing to the table. What does she have to offer to the mythical Prince Charming?

In Enough Said, Louis-Dreyfus' character Eva, a massage therapist and divorced, single mother, begins dating a regular guy, a self-described "slob" who is actually a person at her own level, and, with this, she immediately begins to find fault.  Should she settle for him?  Should she deserve better?  Intruigued?  Watch and find out what happens.

Back to real life:  What's the best way to meet a great man (and have the greatest amount of choice and power in the relationship)?  Bring to the table exactly what you hope he will bring to you.  Ever notice that the moment you're no longer white-knuckling a situation, you immediately get what you've been longing for?  Same thing here.

Get your financial house in order.  It's way easier to do this yourself than to expect someone else to do it for you.  Show the man you like that you're not expecting him to provide you with the basics.  Let him see that you have your own life, a great circle of friends.  That your life is already full of interests and yummy goodness that you may be willing to share with him, if he's willing to try hard enough to show you that he is the one.

That's an attitude much more likely to meet with success than for a middle-aged woman to expect to find a man willing to do all the up-leveling for her. And, way more fun.  And . . . now you deserve to be picky : ) .