Welcome to one in a series of Dynamic Divorcee Method™ client stories. No names are given, and identifying details are masked in order to protect the privacy of the clients involved.
These are real women, not composite stories, and each one represents an individual, life-healing, divorce-recovery journey that the client undertook with me. Each one is a hero’s journey.
Meet the Dynamic Divorcee in This Story: A mother of three whose fairytale second marriage turned into a nightmare she could never have imagined. Having a second marriage implode was really too much for her to bear.
Her Dream: To be a stay-at-home mom, and to have a husband who respected, loved, and encouraged her, and who could provide at least his share of the family’s income.
The Reality: In both marriages, a pattern repeated (despite how each husband behaved before the marriage) in which she was responsible for nearly all of the family’s income, and “was so busy trying to survive that I did not have the time to enjoy my life with my kids or to be able to have to time to be who I am.”
Before The Dynamic Divorcee: She came to me in a state of shock and bewilderment. She thought she had found the love of her life, and he had turned into a monster. When everything she had held to be true turned upside down (for a second time in her life), she no longer knew what to believe, whom she could trust, or how to move on from this. The wound was just so great.
The Lightbulb Moment: We discovered that she had carried her “Cinderella” position in her family of origin into her adult relationships. This was an early wounding of her spirit that carried on throughout her life. She was put into the role of caretaker in her childhood family, and as smart, beautiful, and capable as she was, she was held back by beliefs about herself. When men presented themselves as heroes, she wanted to believe, and ignored these men’s inherent weakness. She ended up, each time, with an adult man that she had to mother, in addition to her children. Once she realized this, it was much easier to overcome the heartbreak of her second divorce.
Challenge: Moving on. Accepting the learning experience, understanding the choices that she made (and why it would have been impossible, then, to choose better partners). And, most importantly, the challenge of seeing herself in all her beauty and amazing talents — and grabbing on to her dreams with both hands.
Solution: In a very short period of time, we focused on who she really was and whether she was living and projecting her attraction power, personality, and truth. We broke through the shell to reveal the parts of her that she felt she had to hide in order to make her husband appear stronger, and more of a man. We looked at the rage she felt, and how that could be transformed into power she could use.
The Transformation: We worked on transforming her wounds into strengths. Instead of trying to bury her life so far, we looked at what parts of her past were actually dear to her and were parts of who she still wanted to be today. We transformed her rage, sadness, and anger into a huge amount of power and drive that she used to go back to school for not only a bachelor’s degree, but a master’s degree as well, in a field that made use of her skills in caring for others. But this time, those skills were in the service of her OWN life and goals, not in the service of those who leaned on her without reciprocating her love. She received scholarships and awards to help her on her way. And, she accomplished all of this at lightning-fast speed.
Today: She now revels in a professional career in which she is loved and respected for her talents and abilities. Along the way, she has made many new friends, and reclaimed her outgoing, magnetic personality. She now lives life on her own terms, including international travel, and lots of social activity and fun.
In Her Own Words: “This process helped me to see that there’s nothing wrong with me, just with the relationship. I’m not just this drudgery Mom person. I need to learn to act more like the person I really am. ‘Mom-identity’ attracts the wrong kind of men.”
Do You Identify With This Story?
Would you like to explore how to heal the heartbreak of your divorce and find a way to let those experiences light your way into the future? Your life so far does not need to continue to predict your future. It can help you create a happier future, instead.
Would you like to experience greater understanding of where your life has taken you, and how you can transform those experiences into beauty, power, and strength?
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