Divorcees: Setting the stage for magic in your life

This is my third blog post on the subject of magic.  Here's where you can find magic blog #1 and magic blog #2.

So, why try to create magic?  How does magic have a place in your divorce healing toolkit?

It's as simple as the fact that you can't solve a problem with the same mind that is already adding to your pain and unhappiness.

Another way of saying this is that you can't pour a different liquid into a cup that's already full.  If your cup is already filled with a cocktail of sadness and bitterness, there is no room to pour a sweeter nectar.  The only option is to pour out the bitter drink, or smash the glass and start over.

In my previous posts on magic, I've talked about creating space within your mind and heart -- finding ways to believe in yourself and to believe in life again.  But, there's also the magic of creating space that attracts good things rather than repels them.

Have you noticed how it feels to enter a dusty, dingy space, with half-eaten fast food containers lying about?  It has a sad and haunted feeling.  And, we, ourselves, can start to feel this way when we're too exhausted to take a shower, or change the sheets, and nothing seems to bring us even a brief moment of delight.

Let's get some magic working in this situation.  First of all, banish dust, dirt, and sticky things.  The magic of happiness is repelled by these things.  Even if you vaccum the dust bunnies from just one room, or just one corner, you've started to lighten the space.

You don't have to attempt to be thorough, if you feel too depressed to do anything.  Just pick up a paper towel and wipe down one countertop, or sweep one tiny corner.  Every little bit helps the spirit of the room.  

My power tip:  Find a cleaning solution that you really love (I like Fabuloso in lavender, or I just add some Florida Water to soapy water) and the fragrance will instantly change the atmosphere for the better.  Our Pine-Sol-loving grandmothers knew about the power of a clean-smelling house.

Don't add more purchases and "stuff" to your home; instead, clean out things that make you feel sad. Objects that are old, worn out, sad, or bring back sad memories are energy vampires.

Once you've created space in all of these various ways I've talked about in my magic series of posts, you've set the stage for magic to come in.

Now, it's time for your fairies -- the good and loving spirits of your home (or even your work environment) to come in and bless you.  Think of them as angels, if you like that image better.  Think of them as "vibes" if you don't believe in woo-woo.  

Invite them into your space in any way that works for you.  Ask them if there's anything in your environment that needs to be changed in order to help you feel better.  Ask them if there's anything they want from you.

Especially if you're feeling alone in the world, knowing that you can collaborate with good spirits, or even with the beauty of nature itself (by adding a live-giving plant or two to your space) can be so helpful -- by letting you feel that you are connected.

I want to end this post with a few lines from the poem "The House of Belonging" by David Whyte:

This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where
I ask
my friends
to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love.

This is the temple
of my adult aloneness
and I belong
to that aloneness
as I belong to my life.

There is no house
like the house of belonging.