What if it isn't even true?

Today's guest blog post is from my friend and colleague Andrea Friedmann, on the subject of the stories we tell ourselves.  If you love Andrea's perspective and want more, she is offering a beautiful complimentary teleseminar that will help you explore how you may be talking yourself into stories about your life that aren't even true.  

Andrea Friedmann
Recently, I was talking with a friend who had been working really hard to reach a new level professionally. She was almost there, in the last stretch before the finish line, with all kinds of wonderful opportunities opening up for her on all sides. But she wasn't telling me about all that awesomeness coming her way. She was telling me how little balance there was in her life, how much she was working, with no time for play, for her family, herself, or socializing.

She looked drained and dejected. And yet, within a few sentences, still in that slow, tired tone, trying to make a different point, she happened to mention that she had been to the beach with her kids, had managed to do a long meditation she had been wanting to try for ages, and had hosted a big dinner party at her house over the weekend.

I stopped her then, and pointed out that, to me, that all sounded like play, and even socializing. She looked dazed for a moment, then she began to chuckle. And we had a good laugh together. Because it is funny that she could be feeling as bad as she was, when she could let herself feel great instead.

We do this to ourselves all the time: hold a thought that makes us feel down, that affects how we show up in our life and the choices we make -- and it's simply not true!

Even though nothing tangible had changed in her situation, the interruption in her negative pattern of thought created an important shift. Without it, she would have gone on with her day, noticing more instances that fortified the thought that her life is hard, creating a snowball effect with her attention (and her energy, through the law of attraction) confirming her original false thought and generally keeping her down and depressed.

But because of the interruption in her false train of thought, she was able to laugh, experiencing enjoyment as well as appreciation for what IS working in her life, and increasing the likelihood that she will notice more instances that confirm the affirming thought that things are good, feeling lighter and more optimistic.

How we feel moment-to-moment is the thread that makes up the fabric of our life, so the fact that my friend could feel good was important for that reason alone. But if she had had important decisions to make later that day, her frame of mind -- whether depressed or optimistic -- would dramatically affect what those decisions might be. And that, in turn, would affect her level of contentment about her actions.

The untruth my friend was telling herself is pretty obvious here. But sometimes it's harder to notice.

For example, one of my clients who is also struggling with time management was telling me that she is an artist, and that means that she has to run with her ideas; she can't interrupt them or plan her creative time into her schedule. Naturally, being at the mercy of her creative impulses makes seeing customers and having a family life quite stressful.

But what if she is wrong? Is it possible that she could shape her artistic habits? Could she work with her creative impulses, find ways to store her ideas when they come, and then work on them when the time is right for her?

Maybe not. But the real question might be: What is it costing her to refuse to examine this possibility?

 Here is the crux of the matter: What we think affects what we do. And if our thoughts are limiting, then we are limiting ourselves: limiting the possibilities, limiting what we can experience, and limiting the results we see in our life.

So I turn the question over to you. What possibilities are you not examining? What thoughts are you holding that may be based on some untruth? How are you limiting yourself? I invite you to find the courage to take a closer look.  

Andrea Friedmann has been an intuitive life coach at VibrationsCoaching.com since 2007, uniquely combining her skills in energy work with spirituality and coaching techniques to help her clients get out of their own way, reconnecting to who they really are, changing the limiting beliefs that keep them stuck, and building a life and work they thrive in.