Create a very special Valentine's Day -- for you!

I'll bet most of us can remember at least a few occasions when we spent days or weeks planning the perfect Valentine's Day (or the perfect surprise birthday, or the perfect surprise getaway . . .) for a special man in our lives.

And, I'll further bet that relatively few of us can remember a time when a loved one did anything even remotely that special for us.

Well, it's time to do something about that.

You may have noticed that the women who get all the good things in life are those women our moms disapproved of.  The ones who weren't appropriately humble and self-sacrificing.  The ones who didn't mind showing off a little, and who liked to stand out in the crowd instead of fading into the wallpaper.

So how bad were these fun-loving, have-it-all women, really?  And, wasn't there a little bit of sour grapes in our moms' reasoning?  Why is being a selfless doormat what the "good" woman is supposed to be?

That woman who everyone said was able to "twist a man around her little finger"?  Modern day translation:  She was charming, cared about what she wanted as much as she cared about what "he" wanted, and wouldn't allow herself to be a victim.  Is that really so bad?

This Valentine's Day, (whether or not you're romantically involved at the moment), here's what I propose:  Try on a little of that "I deserve the best" personality.

Step 1.   If you have children, or a special "signifcant other" in your life, ask for what you want.  There's still time to receive a thoughtful homemade Valentine, or a bunch of pretty flowers.  Remember, those who ask, get.  We teach people how to treat us, so let's start teaching!

Step 2.   Give yourself something that you'd love someone special to give you.  Don't wait for that special guy to come along.  Give yourself a special gift this Valentine's Day that will remind you how much you love and care about yourself.  Have fun picking it out.  Every time you see, use, or wear this item, you'll remember that you are a very precious person who makes sure that everyone treats you right.

Step 3. Take this very special day of love to start one small daily practice that will help you grow in self love every day.  This should be a very simple gesture of self-care that doesn't take very long to perform, but makes you feel relaxed and cared for.  What will it be for you?  For me, sometimes it's just to take time to paint my nails, or to have a few minutes each morning to do my smiling meditation (just sit still, close your eyes, relax your breathing and smile).  For more on the power of smiling, click here.

Dare to take these three steps, and you are guaranteed to have a beautiful Valentine's Day -- and to start the path to becoming that women who gets to have everything she wants.