When you're slogging your way through every single day, unsure whether life will ever get better, it really helps to inject a little fun and whimsy into the process.
With that in mind, I offer you my version of divorce recovery first aid:
8 Must-Haves for Every Dynamic Divorcee's Toolkit.
We have all five senses covered here -- and the sixth sense is even in here, too : ) .
Including all of your senses in your toolkit helps to stop your mind from playing it's endless loop of gloom and doom.
Put together this toolkit today. Especially essential when you don't have enough love and support around you. And, these days, who does?
8. You might be wishing for a security blanket right now -- I did. Here's the adult version that works so well for me: A favorite, comforting light-weight scarf, keeping you cozy and protected, like one of these from World Market (and, bonus, some cute ways to tie them, here).
It will pick up the scent of whatever yummy fragrance you wear (more about that below), and will start to give you a soothing, relaxed and happy vibe every time you wear it. That vibe is cumulative, so wear it often, have it on you when you attend happy, uplifting events, and it will start to remind you of the good times and the good people in your life. (A new scarf is best. Don't choose one that has memories associated with your ex!)
7. A talisman that centers you whenever you hold it in your hand. Sometimes the nicest one is the one that you pick up during a long walk. But, if you have a local rock shop or metaphysical store, you can see which crystals or gemstones feel the best in your hand. You don't have to research the meanings of the various gemstones. Just choose one that feels good in your hand and makes you feel the kind of energy you need most, whether it's peace, contentment, fire, self-love, or confidence.
A practice that I like is to hold the stone in my hand every morning and intend my wish for that day. Then, right before bedtime, I hold the stone in my hand and release everything that happened, both good and bad, into my stone for safekeeping so I can sleep peacefully.
6. Get a Pinterest account to make a virtual vision board of where you want your life to be . . . next week, next month, next year. This is so much fun! You can make your board visible or private, as you choose. This is the *perfect* tool for women who have worked themselves to the bone for so long, and sacrificed so much for others that they no longer even know what they like, what they desire, or who they are. Just visit Pinterest and start clicking.
I also think it's nice to print out some key images that really motivate you, buy a 4 x 6 purse-sized photo album (I use this one, for under $5, where one of your vision-board images can be visible on the cover) and keep your little album with you to motivate you during the day. There's something about having images you can touch!
5. A natural, grounding scent that helps you to feel calm, positive, powerful, and relaxed.
I love the Relax synergy blend from Plant Therapy, containing lavender, marjoram, patchouli, mandarin, geranium, and chamomile -- starts at just $8.95 US for a 10ml bottle. This scent is both relaxing and energizing at the same time, and works great in a diffuser so that your home or workplace can be filled with this gentle, but recovery-supporting scent. Works great at bedtime!
4. Power Thought Cards by Louise Hay. I have such a love of this card deck that I can't even tell you. Through all my darkest hours, it just wouldn't leave me alone. I bought this deck during the early days when I had just separated from my husband after finding out about his secret life with another woman. I really didn't know whether I was living or dead. Since then, it seems that every time I forget about this wonderful, adorable set of cards, someone gives me another of the same deck! So, seven years later, I now have three of them : ) .
This is a must-have set of 64 whimsical, brightly colored cards that reorient your thoughts toward the positive and the possible. I use them as an oracle: I ask a question and get clarity and a plan of action by drawing one card. Always uplifting. Do this rather than cast your fate to tarot cards, which can leave you feeling more depressed than when you started. Less than $13, ladies.
3. Kundalini yoga DVDs by Ana Brett and Ravi Singh. You don't even have to leave home for the gym, and most of Brett's DVDs allow you to create your own workout (even if you only have 5 or 10 minutes) from among the various segments on each DVD by using their matrix feature. This is more than just exercise. Flows are created to cause specific effects (stress relief, increase in energy, relaxation) and there's even a Kundalini Yoga Quick Fixes DVD that treats a host of different issues, with a series of poses/flows that each take only a few minutes. Total lifesaver, and you feel great after just a brief practice.
2. An uplifting (yet not preachy or saccharine) weekly podcast. Here's my favorite that I've listened to for years -- with a unique take on manifesting. It's called Flowdreaming, and you can access ten of creator Summer McStravick's top podcasts here. You can also subscribe via iTunes.
1. A go-to blog (like this one) that you can count on for a weekly infusion of attitude adjustment. And, it really helps if the person behind the blog is available to coach you one-on-one through some of those rock-and-a-hard-place spots. If you're interested in one-to-one work with me (you can be anywhere on Earth as long as we have English as a common language), you'll find more about that here.